Skits and Stunts - "Scoutopaedia" ©, by Tom Vella-Zarb"

Updated July 2005
Note: This is a sampling of skits and stunts, raging from Elaborate serious ones which require lots of preparation to simple funny skits to be performed at a campfire with little or no props.

A Radio Programme from Three Stations Faded in and out


Note: This very impressive stunt is suitable for a party. No props are required, unless you want to add some "sound effects" of the old time radio static.
There are four Characters, who should be "heard but not seen":
1. Announcer
2. Dr Smith talking on Everyday Ills and their Treatment
3. Major Ernie Knapsack talking about his three years amongst the natives of **** [substitute local city, town, province, etc]
4. Mr John Cable taling about his day's work on the streetcar.

Announcer: Did you ever happen to tune in your radio set to a point where three stations faded in and out so that you received a little portion of each of the three stations' programmes? Well, here is what might happen. Listen! We have here in the studio, Dr Smith, member of **** Clinic who is about to give you his talk on "Everyday ills and their treatment". Dr Smith...
Doctor: I am going to speak, this evening, regarding, symptoms which will lead you to discover exactly what your slight ailment might be. I propose tonight to commence with the crown of the head, and if time permits........
Announcer: The following half-hour brings you our very good friend, Major Ernie Knapsack, forrrerly of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who will be talking to you on his experience with the Natives of **** . The Major.....
Major: On the 24th of April, 1822, with three horses, two cattle and ten chickens and the usual complement of ploughs (plows), stretcher bearers, and clothes horses, our expedition penetrated, the hilly country Of ***** on the borders of **** . Our numbers were now reduced to four men and one woman. The country around us as far as the eye could see was......
Announcer: Coming to you through the courtesy of the ***** [local paper]. This evening, Mr Cable will give you his talk called, "My day's work". Mr Cable as you know, is a motorman on the ***** street Railway company. Mr Cable .....
Cable: In my talk this evening, I hope to clear up the mysteries seeming to surround the electric trams that you listeners ride on, every day. Now, I dare say that many of you sometimes wonder what makes the street-car go. You may havr noticed an attachrent to the roof of the car, not unlike a fishing pole, connected to the overhead cable. Through this flows a continuous stream of .....
Doctor: tea, coffee, water, and medicine. On the other hand, it wa suggested that the patient take a glass of soda water and gargle the throat for at least....
Major: two or three months. Some persons have been known to take longer, but we were anxious to reach the interior. We kept pressing rapidly forward, stopping only to .....
Cable: take on passengers, especially oId men and women who need our assistance. It is the part of every motorman on the streetcar to see that .....
Doctor: his feet are kept in a pan of hot water for at least three hours. I have seen a case where a chronic sufferer from neuritis has been cured by having ....
Major: his head shaved off completely and a ring put through his nose. We afterwards learned that he was the head of the tribe of ****** , a village nearby. Here, he lives with his wives, of whom there are....
Cable: seven hundred, and each is repainted every year. To turn from the mechanical to the human side again, the streetcar is a great leveller of the classes. I have seen a bricklayer offer his seat to a lady and when she refused to take it I have seen him ......
Doctor: give her chest a good rubbing with camphorated oil. It is a mistake to imagine that when one has a cold it can be cured by merely....
Major: dancing around an open fire in a loin cloth. These dances are accompanied by continuous sharp cries meant to scare the devil away. These natives believe that their trip to the promised land, is assured when they .....
Cable: drop their coins in the hand of the conductor. Where else can you receive so much for your money and with as nuch protection? The rext time you ride a streetcar, notice.....
Doctor: how your liver acts. Much can be gained from a good healthy liver. It is a vital part during....
Major: the rainy season, when the natives are able to capture wild geese with the greatest ease. These are cooked in hand carved pots over an open flame and highly seasoned with....
Cable: fine gravel which is sprinkled on to keep from skidding. The latest model brakes have just recently been installed in all our cars., the principal part being a one hundred pound shoe .....
Doctor: which the patient should swallow with a glass of warm water. Be careful about building too much in cool weather. In normal climate conditions the average person need wear only .....
Major: a couple of feathers. These are suipposed to prevent a surprise attack, if one is to believe the natives. Where to place them is optional but among the natives of ***** , the fashion is to wear one feather on the forehead and the other just above .....
Cable: the rear light. This denotes that the streetcar in front is travelling away from you. A record is kept of all trips and the motorman who is systematically behind is given.....
Doctor: an injection of Strychnine. This will rapidly tone up the system and the patient will soon become aware of....
Major: a long bushy tail. It is his chief weapon of defense, and he uses it as cleverly as....
Cable: a signal for all cars to stop. I believe the reason more people everyday are riding the streetcar is because of the motorman. Each man that operates one of our cars is careful of his personal attire, and can be seen driving the car ....
Doctor: simply wrapped in cellophane. I thank you. good night.


LET'S TAKE A HIKE

The leader stands before the group and says: "Want to take a hike? Then just say what I say and do what I do. All set? Let's go!"
Let's pack: (motion of packing things and throwing pack over shoulder) Out through, the, door. (clap hands together sharply to suggest door slamming) Down the street. (clap hands against knees in slow walk tempo) Awfully big town! (continue marching) Out in the country at last! (speed up walking) Here's a river and there's the bridge. (hands against chest in march tempo then again on knees) Here's a field. Let's cut across it! (swish palms against one another) Oats! (coniinue swishing-) No! Wheat. (continue swish then back to march) Here's another river. (stop marching) No bridge. We'll have to jump. (fast tempo on thighs to indicate running then both arms up In the air and down again to indicate wide jump) (Keep on marching, hesitate, stop, march, stop. Put hand on forehead and look in different directions) Oh! Oh! lost! There's a tree. Let's see if we can see anything from it. (fast clapping to indicate running to tree, then climbing actions with arms, hand up to forehead and look around) Still lost! Hey, there's a cave. (fast clapping to indicate running to cave) This side is cold. (feeling side of cave) This side is wet. (feel other side) There's a light. (point with finger) There's another light. Hey! They're eyes! It's a BEAR! (do all the above quickly in reverse action to indicate running home.) HOME AT LAST ..... HOORAY!


THE KING WITH THE TERRIBLE TEMPER

Characters:
Story teller - pauses wherever there is an * so the characters may "say their lines"
King - grrr-r-r
Fat daughter - loud grunt
Thin daughter - shrill moan
Beautiful daughter - wolf whistle
Prince - ah, hah!

Once upon a time there was a king with a terrible temper (*) who had three daughhters. One, who was exceedingly fat (*), one of exceeding thinness (*) and one of exceeding beauty (*) To this king with the terrible temper (*) came a charming young prince (*) who courted one of daughters. Not the one that was fat (*) or the one who was thin (*) but the one who was beautiful (*) But then the king with the terrible temper (*) got MAD. But regardless, the charming young prince (*) married not the fat daughter (*) or the thin daughter (*) but the very beautiful daughter (*) And so the king with the terrible temper (*) forgave his beautiful daughter (*) and the charming young prince (*) and they lived happily ever after.


A GHOST STORY

Characters:
Story teller - pauses wherever there is an * so the characters may "say their lines"
Timid young woman - sob or a scream
Old, old woman - shrill laugh
Large black cat - mee-ow
Long black snake - hiss-s-s
Tall dark man - groan
Wolf - howl
Big black crow - caw, caw
Four black bats - whirr-r-r-r
Bogie man - boo-o-o-o
Wind - siren whistle
Ghost - everybody screams together

One dark and windy night in October, a stage coach rumbled a country road. In it, a timid young woman (*) bounced up and down on the hard cushions and gazed with fright out into the darkness. Suddenly the coach stopped and in stepped an old, old woman (*) From under one arm peered a large black eat (*) and around the other, twined a long, black snake (*) "Ha ha! A timid, young woman (*) travelling alone tonight" the old woman (*) exclaimed with a hideous grin. "Let me tell your fortune my pretty dear." The old woman (*) stretched a bony arm toward the timid, young woman (*) while the large black cat (*) arched his back and growled and the long black snake (*) watched with beady eyes. The timid, young woman (*) crept into a corner with her pretty hands behind her back. At that moment the door was thrown violently open and in rushed the wind (*) and a tell dark man (*) wearing a long raincoat. His face was hidden by a drooping hat but his voice was low and pleasant. "Allow me", he said, and gently pushed between the timid, young girl (*) and the old, old woman (*) who three times pointed her finger at the tallI, dark man (*) A wolf (*) howled outside, while from under the seat the black cat (*) meowed again, the long black snake (*) hissed. On the window sill a big, black crow (*) alighted and creaked most dismally. Into the coach flew the wind (*) and four black bats (*) that beat their wings in the face of the timid young woman (*), while through each window peered the grotesque face of a boogieman (*). Nearer and nearer to the old, old woman (*) bent the tall dark man He fixed on the old, old woman (*) two startling eyes and pushed back his hat. With a terrified shriek, the old, old, woman (*) sprang to the door, followed by her large, black cat (*), long black snake (*), four black bats (*) and the large black crow (*). The timid, young woman (*) could hear the wolf (*) and the wind in the coach, the timid young woman (*) fainted for under the hat of the tall, dark man was the ghastly countenance of a GHOST (*).

THE BRUTAL MINER


Characters:
Story teller - pauses wherever there is an * so the characters may "say their lines"
Brutal miner - grr-r-r
Tired wife - 0h, dear.
Beautiful daughter - wolf whistle
Lazy son - Oh hum!
Handsome Harry - ah, ah.
Auto - honk, honk
Young daughter - tee hee hee.
Cat - meeow (everybody do last two)

Once upon a time in the far west, there lived a brutal miner (*), who had a tired wife (*), a lazy son (*) a giggling young daughter (*) and a very beautiful daughter (*) On the other side of the mountain lived handsome Harry (*) This Young man drove his auto (*) over the mountain and carried the mail to the brutal miner (*) One day the tired wife (*) was cleaning house and the beautiful young daughter was helping her. The giggly daughter (*) was playing with the cat (*) on the steps. The brutal miner came out and kicked the cat (*) The tired wife (*) and the beautiful daughter (*) rushed out with brooms and hit the brutal miner (*) but this did not bother him. He grabbed the tired wife (*) by one arm and the beautiful daughter (*) by the other and shoved them into the house. The giggly daughter (*) ran away with the cat (*) and the lazy son (*) did nothing. Just then Handsome Harry (*) drove up in his auto (*) and saw the brutal miner (*) abusing his tired wife (*) and beautiful daughter (*) Handsome Harry (*) rushed to the rescue and seized the Brutal Miner (*) and threw him down the mine shaft. The beautiful dauqhter (*) flew into the waiting arms of Handsome Harry (*) while the tired wife (*) and the giggly young daughter (*) looked on. The lazy son (*) did nothing. Handsome Harry (*) took the beautiful daughter to the in his auto (*) to the little church In the wildwood to be married and they lived happily ever after.

THE COWBOY AND THE INDIANS


Characters:
Story teller - pauses wherever there is an * so the characters may "say their lines"
Cowboy - vippee! (Raises right fist).
Old Paint Brush, his horse - whinny.
Chief Wood Pussy - Whoop like an Indian.
Sitting Bull, his mule - Hee haw.
Emma, the rattlesnake - Rattle, rattle, rattle.
Sheriff - Bang, bang.
Deputy Sheriff - He went that away, (point with thumbs in opposite directions)

Once upon a time there was a cowboy (*) who went out into the desert riding Old Paintbrush, his horse (*). Far off in the distance he could hear the timber wolf (*). The Cowboy (*) made camp and went fast asleep, first making sure that his horse (*) was secure.

Now creeping along through the desert came Chief Woodpussy (*) riding on his mule, Sitting Bull (*). He was pursued by the sheriff (*) and he deputy sheriff (*). However, he knew nothing about the sheriff and the deputy sheriff (*). In his pocket, Old Chief Woodpussy (*) carried his trained rattlesnake (*) whose name wag Emma (*). This Emma (*) was trained to sneak up and bite the cowboy (*) and his horse (*). While Chief Woodpussy (*) crept up, the horse (*) was afraid, the Timber wolf (*) howled, the Cowboy (*) snored, and Sitting Bull, the mule (*) ate cactus.

In the meantime, the sheriff (*) and his Deputy (*) were almost ready to capture Old Chief Woodpussy (*). Just as Emma (*) was about to bite the cowboy (*) and his horse (*) the sheriff (*) and his deputy (*) sprang their trap. "Halt, You are my prisoners" shouted the sheriff (*). The Cowboy (*) woke up and mounted his horse (*) This frightened the Timber Wolf (*) and also Emma (*). Away went 0ld Chief Woodpussy (*) on his faithful mule (*), his Deputy (*) and the Cowboy (*) and his Horse (*). But Old Chief Woodpussy (*) led them into a blind canyon so that was the last that anybody ever saw of the Cowboy (*), his Horse (*), Emma (*), the timber wolf (*), Sitting Bull (*) the sheriff (*), or the deputy sheriff (*).

LION HUNT

(Leader be seated where all can see him)

Would you like to go on a lion hunt? 0. K. let s go. You face me, then watch and do all the things I do.

"way down in the deep dark jungles of Africa, there lives a tribe of tiny men called Pigmies. The morning of the hunt has come. The chief is up and he yawns, and stretches and looks at the sky (All follow the leader through these motions). He calls all the pigmie braves from their huts. (Leader sounds one whoop by cupping hand over mouth).

The Braves come out, stretch and answer their Chief. (All do one whoop). The warriors go to the chief s hut to talk over the plans for the day. (All persons say ‘Soda water bottle four times). After all have received their instructions, the pigmies say goodby to their wives (low Woo—oo—oo by cupping hands over mouths). Here we go down the trail and out of camp (sound of marching by hitting knees with palms). Now we cross the stream that runs beside the pigmie village.(rub palms back and forth against each other) Then we go up the other bank (marching sound). We are getting out in the tall grasses now. Up ahead there is a big river with a. bridge across it. Here we go across the bridge (hit chest with fists in marching tempo) O. K. we re across.. (hands on knees again). We re starting up a mountain. (tempo slows). This is hard work (slower and slower). We re getting close to the top though. (tempo very slow then back to normal) We re on top now, here we go down the other side. (speed tempo to running). Sure is a. lot faster and easier down. (back to normal tempo) O.K. now we re back on level ground.

Everyone really start looking and listening now because we re in lion country. Suddenly the Chief throws up his hand. (Leader puts up his hand and all stop marching.) Quiet! There s a lion and we'll have to sneak up on him. (make snaking motion). Suddenly the lion charges with a roar! The pigmies turn and run (running tempo against knees) They drop their shields and spears; they re going to get home and out of that lion s way. Here s that mountain goat again (tempo slows but faster than before). we got to get up top fast before he catches us. Over the top, down the other side. (very fast tempo). Here s the bridge (thump chests fast). Out of the jungle through the grass.

The village is just ahead now. we can t let our wives think we were scared by a little old lion. (slow to regular tempo). We ll them hunting conditions were nt quite right and we ll look for a smaller lion tomorrow. Hare s the stream (rub hands together). Up the other bank. Call out to our wives. (hand up to mouth). The wives call back, and they gather around all asking questions at once. You know how women talk. (say Rhubarb 4 times with a shrill voice).

O.K. gang, you've been on a pigmie lion hunt."

Going on a Lion Hunt

(Start this chant with alternate hand clapping and slapping them on our thighs. Do this through the refrain.)

Going on a lion hunt,
Gonna catch a big one.
I'm not scared.
Look at all the flowers.
Nice day.

Oh, Oh.
Tall tree ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Might as well go round it.

Going on a lion hunt,
Gonna catch a big one.
I'm not scared.
Look at all the flowers.
Nice day.

Oh, Oh.
Pond ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Better swim around it.

Going on a lion hunt,
Gonna catch a big one.
I'm not scared.
Look at all the flowers.
Nice day.

Oh, Oh.
Tall grass ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Best we crawl through it.

Going on a lion hunt,
Gonna catch a big one.
I'm not scared.
Look at all the flowers.
Nice day.

Oh, Oh.
Cave ahead.
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Guess we have to into it.

It's dark in here.
I see two shining lights.
I feel something furry.
I feel a c-c-c-cold nose.
I feel s-s-s-sharp teeth.
It's a lion!!!

Run out of the cave!
Crawl through the grass!
Swim across the pond!
Run around the tree!
Run into the house!
Close the door!
Run up the front stairs!
Crawl under mom's bed!

Let's catch butterflies next time!

Going on a Lion Hunt

[Another version]

(Boys in a circle echoing each line and set up clap/lap-slapping rhythm)

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Mud!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [Make sloshing sounds and move hands as if slogging]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Sticks!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [Snap fingers]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Trees!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [Make gestures climbing up and down.]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Gate!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [Make gate-opening gestures.]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

River!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [make swimming gestures]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Grass!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. Grass [move hands together and apart]

Goin' on a lion hunt.
Goin to catch a big one.
I'm not afraid.
Look, what's up ahead?

Cave!
Can't go over it.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it. [act like you are feeling your way in a dark cave]

Feel yourself along the wall.
Oh, oh What's this?
Something funny.
With a long soft thing on it's end!
With two sharp things!
Two big gleaming sharp things!
A LION!!!
Run for your life!

Run out of the cave!
Crawl through the grass!
Swim across the river!
Run through the gate!
Run around the trees!
Jump over the sticks!
Slosh through the mud!
Run into the house!
Close the door!
Run up the front stairs!

Co-ordinating exercise

Hands on your hips, hands on your knees
Put them behind you if you please.
Touch your shoulders, touch your nose,
Touch your ears, touch your toes.
Touch your hands, high in the air.
At your sides, on your hair.
Raise your hands as before
While you clap, one, two, three, four.
My hands on my head I place,
On my shoulders, on my face,
Then I raise them up on high
And make my fingers quickly fly.
Then I put them in front of me
And gently clap, one, two, three.

Read slowly first time, then faster and faster.

Another Ghost story

Women stood at the churchyard door ....
Where no women stood before ....
Saw thre corpses carried in ....
They were long and they were thin ....
Worms crawled out and worms crawled in ....
Women to the corpses said ....
"Will I be like you when I'm dead ....
Corpses to the woman said ....
   A loud shriek from the background.

Yet Another Ghost Story

A woman to the churchyard went ....
she was very old and very bent ....
The night was cold and dark as pitch ....
She couldn't tell which way from which ....
The snow was lying all around ....
She stood shivering on the ground ....
The clock struck midnight overhead ....
There she stood among the dead ....
Suddenly she heard a sound ....
She gave a startled glance around ....
She saw three corpses walking there ....
With their feet all cold and bare ....
They crept along with rattling bones ....
And gave most dismal croaks and groans ....
The woman to the corpses said ....
"Will I be like you when I'm dead?" ....
   A loud shriek from the background.

A Halloween Story

Woman in a graveyard sat ....
She was very, very, fat ....
Ghosts and goblins wandered in ....
They were very, very, thin ....
Goblins to the woman said ....
"You'll be like us when you're dead" ....
Woman to the goblins said ....
   A loud shriek from the background.

Hunting Stunt

Several boys are hidden in the bush, and one, the Hunter [possibly holding a shotgun] yells:
Are you there, Joe?
Joe: I'm over here!
Hunter: Are you there, Bob?
Bob: I'm right here!
Hunter: Are you there, Tom?
Tom: Here I am!
Hunter: Are you there, Steve?
Steve: Right here!
Hunter: Are you there, Pete?
Pete: This is I!
Hunter: Thank goodness, then I shot a deer!

The Talking Dog

Cast: Talent Agent, Owneer, and Dog.
[To prove that his dog is talented the owner asks questions and the dog answers]
Owner: What covers a house?
Dog: R-r-r-r-r-oof
Owner: What ball player was known as the Sultan of Swat?
Dog: R-r-r-r-r-uth
Agent: Get out of here, you two phonies. [Kicks both owner and dog out]
Dog scrambles to his feet and says, "Could it have been Di Maggio?"

Water on the brain

Props needed: a glass of water
The patrol lines up facing the group. In silence the first one takes a glass of water and drinks it down. He then whispers into the boy next to him, and so on in turn. When the last one "hears" the message, he spurts water, previously held in his mouth without opening, from his mouth.

The diviner

Props needed are nine books and a staff
The books are arranged in a 3 x 3 grid. The diviner leaves the group and an assistant asks the group to select one of the books by pointing to it. The diviner is asked to return and the assistant taps one or two of the books asking, "Is it this one?" To which the diviner repies, "No' ... finally picking up the book that was selected.
[The "secret" is the place that the assistant taps the books. Using an imaginary grid for each book, he taps in the space corresponding to the book selected. The tapping should be as casual as possible and of course one should not start tapping on the correct book]
This can be repeated several times without the group catching on.
On a more serious note, here are two skits that have a moral and may be used at a Scouts' Own or on some sedate occasion

How Many Roads?


For the tune please click here
Characters:


 Mankind
Pulpit
Announcer
3 Voices [spread amongst the audience]
Suggested props: Guitar for Mankind
lectern for Pulpit
Voice 1: Hey you there! What are you doing here?
Mankind: I am looking for something.
Voice 1: What?
Mankind: The answer to a question.
Voice 1: Why do you come here?
Mankind: I’ve tried everywhere else .... this is my last hope.
Voice 1: How long have you been searching?
Mankind: Since I was born.
Voice 1: Who are you anyway?
Mankind: I am Mankind.
Voice 1: And what is your question?
Mankind: Who is God? ... Where is He? ... Why does He not speak to me?
Voice 1: What a question! This is God’s House! He is here!
Mankind [turning to face the audience] Is He? .... Is He? .... then perhaps you can tell me this.
[Singing]
How many roads must a man walk down
Before they call him a man?
Woman’s voice: Mrs Shaw ... Mrs Shaw ... I represent the Elmwood Park Ratepayers’ Association. Evidently you did not know about our ruling on that kind of family in the area. We are sorry but we feel that for the good of the homeowners in this community, you ...
Pulpit: God created every race of Man of one stock to inhabit the whole earth’s surface.
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many seas must the white dove sail
Before she can sleep in the sand?
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, we interrupt this programme to bring you an important news bulletin: France, recently turning Communist, today set off her own nuclear bomb. Reliable sources have ......
Pulpit: They shall beat their swords into ploughshares.. And their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they are forever banned?
Woman’s voice: I’d never support disarmament. Why, we need the bomb, and the missiles, too for protection. You never know what those Reds are going to do ......
Pulpit: And when they reached the place which is called the Skull, they crucified Him there. And two criminals with him, one on his left, and the other on His right. And Jesus said: “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing.”
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many years must a mountain exist
Before it is washed in the sea?
Voice 2: Of course, I believe in God, but I will not employ an ex-convict; after all, business is business ....
Pulpit: I may have faith enough to move mountains; but if I have no love, I am nothing.
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many years must some people exist
Before they are allowed to be free?
Announcer: Today, in Cambodia, four hundred men, women, and children were seen floating down the river, with their hands tied behind their back .... Cambodian officials denied any knowledge of the massacre.
Pulpit: There is neither Jew nor Greek, Slave or Free man, male or female, for you are all one person in Christ Jesus.
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many times can a man turn his back
And pretend that he just does not see?
Woman’s voice: Another charity drive!!! Give, Give, Give, ..... That’s all that I ever hear. Why doesn’t the Government do something. What am I supposed to do? Take my hard earned money and ....
Pulpit: If man has enough to live on, and yet when he sees his brother in need, shuts up his heart against him, how can it be said that the Divine love dwells in him?
Choir: The answer my friend is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind.
Pulpit: An Angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the Glory of the Lord shone over them. They were terrible afraid, but the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, I am here with Good News for you, which will bring great joy to all the people. This very day in David’s town your Saviour was born – Christ the Lord.”
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many time can a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Voice 2: I can’t understand this problem in the ghettos. What do those people want anyways? They’ve got the Civil Rights Bill. Do they expect us to throw our arms around them and ....
Pulpit: Love must not be a matter of words or talk; it must be genuine and show itself in actions.
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Voice 2: You can’t trust him. He’s an alcoholic. He cannot even hold a job. You can’t help someone like that, he wouldn’t appreciate it.
Woman’s voice: A tramp. That’s all she is. Why, I don’t even speak to her. I just pretend that I don’t even know her. And, you know I heard that ......
Voice 2: Look at those shacks! What a disgrace!! No repectable person would live here. Why should decent people like us have to put up with trash like that?
Pulpit: For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son ...
Mankind:
[singing]		 How many deaths will it take until He knows
That too many people have died
Voice 2: In a crowded downtown area today, about forty people passed by an ally where a woman was being beaten to death. Her cries for help were ignored, and ,,,
Announcer: Three children were found dead today in an abandoned house. Malnutrition is believed to have caused the deaths. They have been there since .....
Voice 2: What this country needs are more nuclear weapons. We’ll show those Russians we mean business. We have a right ....
Pulpit: Let us love one another ... God is love, God is love ....
Mankind: Do you see what I mean? Where is God? Who is He?
Choir: The answer my friend is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind.
Pulpit: God is love .... God is Love. .... God is Love. ....
[A few moments of Silence]
Mankind: I think I know the answer, Lord, teach me how to love.
Pulpit: We who are the world are not yet satisfied.
For the unanswered question still remains
How long must a man be hungry or cold, or lonely?
How long must he be afraid?
How long must he hate his brother because of his creed?
How long will he spit upon him because of his colour?
How long will he kill his brother in war?
How long must man wait to claim his basic right of human dignity?
The answer blows in the wind. It has blown for 2000 years from a place called Bethlehem. When God sent His only begotten Son to the world to bring to us the Good News about the kingdom of God.
Will only the wind know the secret of life?
How long will man hear it and not listen:
How long will the wind-song of love fall on deaf ears?
I have used this skit at various Scouts' Own, and Prayer Gatherings of various Denominations. I suggest that one person hides under a table or behind a curtain, and reads the part of God. It is very effective. Of course, perfect silence should be observed by all.


THE LORD'S PRAYER

Man, kneeling: Our Father Who Art In Heaven.

Voice of God: YES?

Man: Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

Voice of God: BUT -- YOU CALLED ME.

Man: Called you? No, I didn't call you, I'm praying. Our Father who art in heaven.

Voice of God: THERE -- YOU DID IT AGAIN.

Man: Did what?

Voice of God: CALLED ME. YOU SAID, "OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN." WELL, HERE I AM. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Man: But, I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.

Voice of God: WELL, ALL RIGHT. GO ON.

Man: Okay, Hallowed be Thy name ...

Voice of God: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

Man: By what?

Voice of God: BY "HALLOWED BE THY NAME"?

Man: It means, it means ... good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

Voice of God: IT MEANS HONORED, HOLY, WONDERFUL.

Man: Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thanks. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Voice of God: DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

Man: Sure, why not?

Voice of God: WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

Man: Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.

Voice of God: YES, I KNOW; BUT, HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?

Man: Well, I go to church.

Voice of God: THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY -- ALL ON YOURSELF. AND WHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF BOOKS YOU READ AND THE MOVIES YOU WATCH?

Man: Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!

Voice of God: EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU -- FOR EXAMPLE.

Man: Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

Voice of God: SO COULD I.

Man: I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.

Voice of God: GOOD. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE'LL WORK TOGETHER -- YOU AND ME. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

Man: Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. Give us this day, our daily bread.

Voice of God: YOU NEED TO CUT OUT THE BREAD. YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS.

Man: Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.

Voice of God: PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU JUST MIGHT GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR. REMEMBER, YOU CALLED ME -- AND HERE I AM. IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP PRAYING. ...[pause]...WELL, GO ON.

Man: I'm scared to.

Voice of God: SCARED? OF WHAT?

Man: I know what you'll say.

Voice of God: TRY ME.

Man: Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

Voice of God: WHAT ABOUT CAROL?

Man: See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories. She never paid back the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!

Voice of God: BUT -- YOUR PRAYER -- WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?

Man: I didn't -- mean it.

Voice of God: WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. BUT, IT'S QUITE A LOAD CARRYING AROUND ALL THAT BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT ISN'T IT?

Man: Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born.

Voice of God: NO, YOU WON'T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU'LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN'T SWEET. YOU KNOW HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE -- WELL, I CAN CHANGE THAT.

Man: You can? How?

Voice of God: FORGIVE CAROL, THEN, I'LL FORGIVE YOU; AND THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE CAROL'S PROBLEM -- NOT YOURS. YOU WILL HAVE SETTLED THE PROBLEM AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED.

Man: Oh, you know, you're right. You always are. And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You...,(sigh). All right...all right...I forgive her.

Voice of God: THERE NOW! WONDERFUL! HOW DO YOU FEEL?

Man: Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight. I haven't been getting much rest, you know.

Voice of God: YEAH, I KNOW. BUT, YOU'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER ARE YOU? GO ON.

Man: Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Voice of God: GOOD! GOOD! I'LL DO THAT. JUST DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.

Man: What do you mean by that?

Voice of God: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Man: Yeah. I know.

Voice of God: OKAY. GO AHEAD. FINISH YOUR PRAYER.

Man: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.

Voice of God: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY -- WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY?

Man: No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you now. I've really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can see now how great that would be. So, tell me ... how do I make you happy?

Voice of God: YOU JUST DID.

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